February 26, 2009

Today was the day. I would say goodbye to my earthly father. Oh but how I held onto my Heavenly father. Do you know how it feels to have your daddy hug you? You feel safe. You feel love. My God held onto me and never let go.

There I stood in the middle of the church watching people carry in flowers and set them around the room. They were beautiful. I sat staring at my dad’s picture just shaking my head.

“This can’t be real.”

Then he walked in. There stood the funeral director with an urn in his hand. He placed it in the center of the wooden stand, moved the picture around, rearranged the flowers, and there it was. There was my reality – but only for a moment. My heart began to race and my breathing got fast and heavy.

“God I can’t do this without You. Give me grace and mercy. Give me strength. I can’t do this without You.”

Once again I felt His presence. I felt His arms wrap around me and love on me. My breathing calmed down and I was ok.

The pastor walked in and my calmness grew stronger. He hugged me and I felt the world lift off my shoulders. The room was safe.

11:00 am

There were so many hugs – so many apologies. I was just ready for it to be over. My pastor reassured me it was going to be okay as I walked to the front of the room and sat down. He was right. As soon as he began to speak my life was changed forever.

We played music and shared memories. I didn’t want to speak. I was too scared. But God kept pushing me to tell a story, so I did.

“When my dad lived with me he would visit my church on occasion. As he began to see the changes in my life he would ask questions. We often talked about heaven. I could tell the Bible peaked his curiosity, but we never really touched on it much. When he was sent home and given three days to live I knew that was my chance to share heaven with him again. I sat by his bedside and asked him if he remembered all the talks we had about heaven. He nodded his head. He couldn’t speak. I asked him if he wanted to be assured that he had a place in heaven. He nodded his head. Dad, are you ready to ask Jesus Christ into your life? He shook his head yes. I read the sinner’s prayer to him. We said amen. Congratulations dad. You just got your ticket to heaven. Yup he said.”


I expected the pastor to touch on the subject of salvation. He didn’t. His whole sermon was on salvation. He talked about each of our lives, and how this life isn’t the greatest thing we know, even though some may think so. He spoke of the comfort my dad must have had knowing he was going to be with Jesus.

He centered his sermon around John 14:6. Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

He asked the question, “Is this the life you want, or do you want to know that something better is out there?” That room was filled with the Holy Spirit.

As he concluded the service, he asked us to bow our heads. He prayed. Then he invited those who wanted to give their lives to God – those who wanted to know what true life was all about to keep their heads bowed and pray the Sinner’s Prayer. As he said amen, he asked everyone to keep their eyes closed.

“No one can see you right now. Raise your hand if you said that prayer. Raise your hand if you have just accepted Christ into your heart.”

That was it. That was the end of my dad’s funeral. Or so I thought. Music played as everyone left. The room cleared out and everyone went back to their lives. There I stood wondering where to go next.

My pastor came up to me and held up his hand.

“Five people came to know the Lord today. Five people raised their hands.”

I was speechless. Five people received the gift of salvation because my dad had brought them there. A friend pointed out to me that my dad did more for five people in his death than he ever did in his life. She was so right. Praise God!

This may have been a sad day in my life, but it was such a happy day! Jesus was in that room. And five people that walked into that church lost, walked out found. Thank you Dad. Thank You Jesus!

I sat there in silence as everyone had left. All the flowers were gone, the music faded. God only allowed me to cry for a short time. Once again, as I sat in the cold chair, Jesus held my hand. I felt warmth. I felt love. I was okay.

I will be okay.